A legacy beginns...

My dear readers!

Since I have left you hanging in the air for so long, I feel that it is now time to provide you with more of my written word. It is going to be captivating, it is going to be enlightening and, most important of all, it is going to be delivered to you on a regular basis, just like the Guardian Weekly.
So be my guest to indulge in this feast of tales from the end of the world and bear witness to the most exciting and most enthralling experience you might ever have while sitting in the comfort and safety of your favorite easy-chair.

Note: I'm now starting to translate all my former work previously published in German and can hence ensure a steady supply of regular updates. What has previously only been accessible to some grumpy Germans can soon be viewed by the majority of the literate rest of the world.


This is the first entry, done in September 2009:

I know it took forever, I promised it about a hundred times and misfortune and utter laziness made me not get back on track, but here he is at last:

My first weblog entry.

I made this blog primarily as to provide you with information but also to avoid having to repeat my stories constantly from anew. So, if you mean to inquire and bother me with another "So, what's it like over there?" - just check this blog here and leave me in peace, for Heaven's sake!

The probability is high that you are about to satisfy your every need! So even at the risk of sounding redundant: I am now stationed in Paraguay for a year and assist the socially less advantaged and help them lead a better life. I'm working for the "Fundacion Tierranuestra", which is located in the capital Asuncion.

What I'm actually doing, I cannot tell you. Even if I wanted to. Because it's top secret you may ask? No, because I have no clue. I've already been here for two weeks and still feel like the fifth wheel on a car. First, it was said that I should stop by at their office after a week. Nobody bothered to tell me why then and not earlier, as e.g. my fellow German volunteers employed at other NGOs and schools.

Not having much of a choice, I went there in the morning (got up early for the first time after quite a while of post-graduation sleep-in-late slumber. I hereby cordially send me regards to all students and workers out there!). There, I was told that my work colleagues were all still on vacation. I should come back again the following week, on the 25th of August.
Well, just imagine I would have opted for a regular German civil service with strict hours and ill-tempered supervisors ... some decisions in life just turn out to have been good ones! YES!

Maybe I should, at this point, just start relating some of the events about the my Odyssean journey Germany to Paraguay.
After the hardest part, the farewell, lay behind me, the pilgrimage truly began: the journey into the unknown! It was really not easy letting go, even if it was only for one year. Especially my beloved darling Janine and my parents will leave a great hole in my heart. Only my brother Janosch .... I'm having this weird feeling that he sported this broad grin at the airport that said, "Get on that plane already, douche. Your PC and room belong to me now ...!"

Well, be it as it may, I already got a nice taste of South America at the airport in Frankfurt. First, the flight had been delayed for 45 minutes. After we had already boarded! Then we sat there for an hour on the plane ... still on the ground ... with 300 people ... no air conditioning .. heat ... hunger .. while being excruciatingly thirsty! Luckily, I had bought a bottle of water (skalping 3.50 Euros for a 0.3 l bottle). If I would have listened to the other volunteer, Nic, I would have had nothing to drink at all. ("There'll drinks on the plane, dude!" YES, BUT I WOULD HAVE CRAPPED THE BED FROM DEHYDRATION BY THE TIME THEY STARTED SERVING THEM, so no thanks!)

At least, I wasn't alone. The third of us, Steffi, sat next to me. Beside me, on the other side, sat a mean Asian guy, who constantly put his elbows on my part of the armrest and continuously aggravated me with his sneezing in our confined space. The heat didn't contribute to me calming down. Nor the fact that I couldn't properly read the edition of the Frankfurter Allgemeine newspaper I brought in great anticipation, because I had no space to unfold the pages - due to said Asian!
Exasperated, I eventually got fed up with the huge bulk of paper cramming up the space around my legs and decided to discreetly shove it under the seat in front of me and "spread the word" forward.

Me at Guarulhos Airport, Sao Paulo, Brazil

The flight itself was actually quite okay - with 12 hours just for one leg, clearly the longest journey of my life so far. The next morning we arrived in Sao Paulo, Brazil, where our connecting flight awaited us. Or rather, we were waiting for it... several hours. Meanwhile Nic got hoodwinked by a local grocer, while I started reading a book.
During the second flight, I really only slept and ate. It was just the most convenient thing to do since I always seemed to wake up just in time for a snack. Be it as it may, after we arrived in Asunción and past the eternally long queues at the last checkpoint, customs, we arrived in the visitors' area. Steffi and Nic were exuberantly greeted by their families. I, on the other hand, was picked up by a representative of AFS, my exchange organization. We took a cab to the office. I noticed that no belts were available in this car. I was too exhausted to even care. I also felt kind of let down by my supposed first host family. Well, someone always has to draw the shortest straw.
At the office, I again proved my sitzfleisch by waiting two hours for my host brother. The people at the office seemed nice enough, but frankly, I didn't understand a single word. Oh, I should perhaps mention this: I do not speak Spanish! Here in Paraguay, both that and an Indian language, Guaraní, are used.

When I got to my host home, I couldn't wait for dinner to be served, which I quickly wolfed down. Later in the evening, we went on to my host brother's fiance's birthday celebration. Again, I understood hardly anything, but could, now and then, tickle some funnybones. However, I have to admit that rather than skillfully juxtaposing fine subtleties of the Spanish language and thus artfully crafting witty innuendos, I pretty much just accidentally used terms in a pathetically wrong context. (So, how are you doing? - Oh, quite spinach, thank you. And yourself?)

I was more of an attraction than an equal member of society. Sort of like a monkey, which is thrown a banana, in order to find out where he'll stick it next!

Nevertheless, I will not leave the impression that these people are hostile in any way. I'm just offended easily when someone smiles at me sympathetically like I was a blithering fool! Really, Paraguayos, as far as I can judge them now, are incredibly friendly and helpful. I simply need to improve my language skills!
After we got home, I threw myself straight on the bed. I was asleep before I even hit the mattress.

Oh, one more thing I should perhaps mention: the toilet paper here is not thrown into the bowl, but in a special special trashcan on the side! The pipes down here are too small to handle the extra bulk. They just clog up. One can of course also do it European style and flush the wipes down anyways, as I did the first day. Whether the flooding that occurred later, was desirable, is another issue.

This was my first entry, folks. More will follow. If you like what you see, stay tuned for more. We'll have a weekly update from now on.
I'd also welcome you to share this link with friends, family or whoever you think should take a look at it.
I also greatly enjoy comments and new followers.

Talk to y'all soon.

- Jan